Tights or rubber?

Or, simply:


Which looks more badass?

This:



Or, THIS:


I think the choice is obvious, really. Okay, another example.

This is Batman in rubber (note the little nipples):


This is Batman in tights (note the real muscles):



Really, this is the essential fallacy of the universe that Nolan has set up in his bat-films. In trying to distance himself from the old Burton/Shumacher franchise (of which three of the films were quite good), he missed the opportunity to do something markedly different. I mean, there's no real difference between the suit in the latter half of "Batman Forever" and "Batman Begins' " 'Nomex' combat suit. Look at these two:





Now, don't get me wrong. I 'get' the reasons for the rubber look, and chief among them is the name of one man: Adam West. His portrayal of Batman in tights in the sixties gave the impression that tights just didn't work. And, I see why. The guy was pudgy, and not fit enough for the role to make the tights work for him. So, for Burton's Batman, the suit was rubber because Keaton wasn't a muscular dude, and because the sixties show gave the impression that (say it with me) tights didn't work.

But, in 2003, Sandy Collara's "Batman: Dead End" showed us that, among other things (like Batman fights Predators and Aliens) that tights do work, and they work extremely well, with the right actor, who was Clark Bartram. Following this were fan-films from Bat-In-The-Sun that affirmed this point with American Gladiator Tanoi Reed.

As far as logical reasons for tights or skintight material goes, one only has to look at where the costume came from in the first place, which is circus acrobats of the 1920's and 30's. And there you are. And as for 'body armor,' I'm either way about it, but really, that's always been one of the cool things about the character, was that he could be shot and hurt, that he bled. He wasn't Superman, or Spider-man. He had a drive, and insane intelligence and strength, but still, all it would take is one bullet. To take that element away is to ruin a part of the character; to paraphrase a popular geek-meme, Batman don't need no body armor. He's got prep-time.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Batman Begins (sans costume), and I think I'll say the same thing about The Dark Knight, when I see it. But, still, when I see this, I wanna punch somebody.


I have given a name to my pain.


And it is Lindy Hemmings.